If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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