bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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