It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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