it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
