Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
