Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
