I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
