We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
