Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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