She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
