If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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