I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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