So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
