Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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