Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
