i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
