guys are only as good as the porn they watch
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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