Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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