The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
