OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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