Whod you bang
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
