You just made me feel so damn special
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
