so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
