The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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