I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
