i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
