as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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