Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
