well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
