I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
