how can u be prego again
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
someone owes me an orgasm
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
