it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
third nipple confirmed
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
