just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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