She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
