actually, I'm a sock model
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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