so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
