Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
