i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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