u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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