So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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