Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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