i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
