youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
