I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
