Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
