I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
