is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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