Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
