we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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