cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
