Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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