i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
