can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
