we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
