i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
